i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
