i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
