There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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