i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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