I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
she smelled like a LAN party
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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