is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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