I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
