I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bondingš
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out āmange moiā so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
