I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
