you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
