Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
