he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
