one two three fourrrrnication!
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Randomize