so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
