youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
