Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
