I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize