that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize