this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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