fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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