I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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