Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
