Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
40s are totally the cure
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
