If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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