Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize