From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
