it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You left your underwear on the fireplace
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
