He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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