WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize