We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
