sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
This baby is an asshole
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
