You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
