Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
