I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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