She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
