Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize