I accidentally had phone sex last night
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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