Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
ugly people sure do ruin things
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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