My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Randomize
