It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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