I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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