I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Randomize