If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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