yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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