can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
