All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
