I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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