I want to make a zoo with you.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
