You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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