I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
