I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
