i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize