before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
