are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize