I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
How does one acquire holy water?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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