I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Bring me that man meat
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
