Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
