See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
