READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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