I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
