you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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