What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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