I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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