at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
