I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
