once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
